One of my New Year’s resolutions this year was that I would finish my first book, Infertility Wars. This story has been alive in my heart since I was pregnant with Lydia, the only baby I ever thought we’d have. Way back in 1997 I knew the name of the book and had a fairly good idea of the chapter layout and overall theme. But, our story was a long way from finished, so ideas were scribbled down here and there and tucked away for a future day.
After finishing my degree in 2014, I had planned to go right on to grad school. Why not? I was already in student mode and knew how to make the time in my schedule to accomplish the work. However, I just couldn’t find peace in the direction I wanted to take for my masters. I decided to take a year off and see if continuing made sense after I stepped away from the grind. And, here’s a shocker: I decided to seek the Lord in my future direction.
Within weeks, I knew it was time to write my book. Excited about the new direction, I dusted off my notes and dove into the project. I was amazed that my outline from so long ago was actually quite good and still felt like the right direction to tell my story! I jumped into research, worked on the overall theme, and established a direction for each chapter. Excited and determined, I started to draft.
And then suddenly, our re-purposing season hit! Back my book went into the proverbial drawer. Sealed up, yet again for another future day as I faced the monumental tasks associated with sending my first child off to college, both of us starting new jobs, all of the kids starting new schools, accomplishing a cross-country move, and building an entirely new life. Last year was like the year the twins arrived: I remember very little about most of it.
Finally feeling settled and after catching my breath, I know that 2016 is my chance to begin again with my book! I love this phrase – begin again. In these two words is the idea of a fresh start, of a do-over, or another chance. It’s time for a fresh start on my journey to becoming an author. To that end, I’ve decided to set a goal of completing one chapter per month to get most of the manuscript drafted by year’s end.
I’m excited to share that I just finished chapter 3 and I’m nearing 40 pages done! It’s flowing like water ya’ll, still so fresh and clear to me. After so many starts and stops this is simply nothing short of amazing grace. I don’t even know how this book gets published or how any of the next steps come together for this project, but none of that matters if I never commit my ideas to paper! Today, I’m just leaning into it, trusting God’s got tomorrow figured out, and carving out regular time to write.
I don’t want to give away too much yet, as this work is still in an infancy stage, but here’s a little peak on the preface to help you see the direction I am heading:
“Although Infertility Wars will tell my story, this is not a how-to guide for treatment or adoption. This is a book about faith and transformation: about becoming someone new entirely while facing a life-long war with infertility. It is about how the very thing you might run from becomes the very thing you embrace because a journey with God transforms your heart, your mind, and your walk. This is a book about the surrender of self while learning to sacrifice for others.”
I am sharing this so all my people (you know who you are!) will hold me accountable for making monthly progress! I need you to regularly ask me how’s it’s going! Encourage me to get off social media to avoid wasting time. But, most of all, pray. Pray that holy inspiration will fill up every single inch of this manuscript. Pray that memories are unfolded in such a way that I will be healed from pain that hides inside my soul. Pray, that I will be vulnerable, and honest, and transparent, and encouraging to the myriad of others walking this long and lonely path.